Welcoming a new baby into the family is an exciting and emotional time, not just for parents but also for older siblings. When we brought our second baby home, I wondered: How will my firstborn react? Will they feel left out? How can we help them adjust? It turns out, the transition takes patience, preparation, and plenty of love. In this post, I’ll share our personal experience of introducing our newborn to their sibling, along with expert-backed tips to help your growing family adjust smoothly.
Before Baby Arrives: Laying the Foundation
1. Talk About the Baby Early
As soon as we found out we were expecting, we started talking to our firstborn about the baby in a way they could
understand. We read books about becoming a big sibling, looked at ultrasound pictures together, and let them feel the baby kicking.
Expert Tip: Use age-appropriate language and emphasize how special their new role will be.
2. Involve Your Child in Preparations
We made our older child feel included by letting them help pick out baby clothes, set up the nursery, and even choose a small gift for the baby. This helped build excitement rather than making them feel like a bystander.
3. Create a “Big Sibling” Tradition
To make the transition feel special, we planned a little “Big Sibling Celebration” before the baby arrived. It was a simple day where our child got to pick a fun activity and enjoy extra one-on-one time.
The First Meeting: Setting the Tone
1. Make It About the Sibling Too
When we introduced our newborn to their sibling, we made sure not to overwhelm them. Instead of placing all the attention on the baby, we greeted our firstborn with hugs, told them how happy we were to see them, and let them approach the baby at their own pace.
Pro Tip: If meeting at the hospital, have the baby in a bassinet instead of your arms so your older child doesn’t feel replaced.
2. Give a “Gift from the Baby”
We had a small present ready for our firstborn, a gift “from the baby.” It was a simple but powerful gesture—our child was thrilled and immediately felt a positive connection.
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3. Let Them Interact Naturally
Instead of forcing a hug or kiss, we encouraged gentle touches and let our firstborn talk to the baby. Simple phrases like, “Your baby brother loves you so much!” helped create warmth.
Adjusting to Life with Two
1. Keep a Routine (As Much as Possible!)
Toddlers and young children thrive on routine. While newborns bring changes, we tried to keep our firstborn’s schedule as consistent as possible—regular meal times, bedtime stories, and their usual activities.
2. Set Aside One-on-One Time
With a newborn in the house, it’s easy for older siblings to feel overlooked. We made sure to spend at least 10-15 minutes of uninterrupted time with our firstborn each day, doing something they loved—whether it was coloring, playing, or snuggling up with a book.
3. Encourage Helping (But Don’t Force It)
We found that giving our child small “big sibling jobs” made them feel important. Simple things like passing a diaper, singing to the baby, or helping with bath time gave them a sense of responsibility and inclusion.
4. Acknowledge Their Feelings
Even with all the preparation, there were still moments of jealousy and frustration. Instead of dismissing these
emotions, we validated them: “I know it’s hard when Mommy is busy with the baby. I love you so much, and we’ll have our special time soon.”
Patience, Love, and Time
Adjusting to life with a newborn and an older child takes time. Some days will be filled with heartwarming moments, while others will bring sibling rivalry. And that’s okay.
Through it all, I reminded myself: Our love isn’t divided—it’s multiplied. And watching my firstborn gently stroke their baby sibling’s hand, whispering, “I love you,” made every challenge worth it.
Connect with me on Instagram @intuitive_parenting_academy for insights and encouragement on your parenting journey.