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How to Remind Yourself: Motherhood is Tough, You’re Not Wrong

mother tired holding her baby

    You’ve read the books. You’ve tried the checklists. You’ve followed the sleep guides, the feeding routines, and the expert reels.

    And yet, at 3am, when your baby is still crying, your body aches from tiredness, and your heart feels like it’s being pulled in too many directions — you wonder:

    Why does this feel so hard?
    Am I just not doing it right?
    Why does everyone else seem to be coping better than me?

    Let’s stop right there.
    You’re not doing it wrong. It’s just hard.

    And not just “hard” the way people say it casually — hard in the kind of way that rewires your brain, stretches your identity, and tests every emotional reserve you have.

    mother tired holding her baby

    Motherhood Isn’t Meant to Be This Isolated

    We live in a time where you’re expected to raise your child with one hand, run a household with the other, and scroll through endless comparisons in between. But we weren’t designed for this.

    For most of human history, mothers were never alone like this. They were surrounded — by sisters, aunties, neighbours, grandmothers — people who held the baby and held the mother.

    Today?
    You might be breastfeeding in the dark, managing your mental load in silence, and feeling completely unseen.

    That’s not a reflection of your capability. It’s a reflection of the systems that were supposed to support you, but no longer exist.

    It’s Not That You’re Not Coping — It’s That You’re Carrying Too Much

    Let’s name what you’re really holding:

    • Interrupted sleep that leaves your brain foggy for days
    • Decision fatigue over every little choice (dummy or no dummy? formula top-up or not?)
    • The invisible weight of being “the default parent”
    • Hormonal shifts, body recovery, identity change — all happening at once
    • The pressure to get it all right, while feeling like no one sees you falling apart

    If you feel like you’re struggling, it’s not a sign that you’re failing.
    It’s a sign that you’re under-resourced, overwhelmed, and still showing up anyway.

    You Don’t Need to Be Perfect — You Need to Be Held

    What would change if you believed that you’re already doing a good job?
    What would soften if you allowed yourself to be supported — emotionally, practically, mentally?

    Because you deserve care too. Not just when everything else is done.
    Not just once your baby is sleeping better.
    But now — in the middle of it all.

    How to Start Reframing the Struggle

    Receive curated resources and tender encouragement for your journey—body, baby, and beyond.

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    Here are three gentle reminders to carry with you this week:

    1. Hard doesn’t mean wrong.
      Just because something is difficult doesn’t mean you’ve failed at it. It just means it’s stretching you. Growth often feels like resistance.
    2. What you feel is valid — even if no one else sees it.
      You don’t need permission to say it’s hard. You don’t need proof to rest.
    3. You are enough, even when you’re not doing everything.
      The baby doesn’t need a perfect mother. They need you, in all your humanness.

    Let This Be the Reminder You Needed Today

    You are not alone in this. The fact that you care enough to be wondering if you’re doing it right means you already are.

    And if no one’s told you lately:
    You’re doing a good job. This is just hard. And you’re allowed to say so.

    Want Ongoing Support?

    You’re not meant to carry this alone.
    If you’re craving more gentle guidance and encouragement, join our growing community of mothers who are walking the same road.

    Explore our free resource library — filled with reflective workbooks and supportive tools for your motherhood journey.

    Sian Erasmus
    Hi There

    I’m a mother and postpartum educator who believes that motherhood is a journey of transformation. It doesn’t just teach us to care for our children — it softens, stretches, and reshapes us, revealing both our strength and the places that still need healing.

    I created Intuitive Parenting Academy to guide women through this transformation with faith, support, and practical tools. Through courses and workbooks, I help mothers heal, grow, and rebuild after birth — so they can step into motherhood with confidence and a renewed sense of self.

    Read my full story →

    Ready to become the mother you were made to be?

    If you’re feeling overwhelmed, stretched thin, or unsure where to begin — I’ve been there too. Let me guide you through the healing, rebuilding, and gentle grounding you need to thrive in motherhood.

    Select your first step to get started.

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