You’ve read the books. You’ve tried the checklists. You’ve followed the sleep guides, the feeding routines, and the expert reels.
And yet, at 3am, when your baby is still crying, your body aches from tiredness, and your heart feels like it’s being pulled in too many directions — you wonder:
Why does this feel so hard?
Am I just not doing it right?
Why does everyone else seem to be coping better than me?
Let’s stop right there.
You’re not doing it wrong. It’s just hard.
And not just “hard” the way people say it casually — hard in the kind of way that rewires your brain, stretches your identity, and tests every emotional reserve you have.
Motherhood Isn’t Meant to Be This Isolated
We live in a time where you’re expected to raise your child with one hand, run a household with the other, and scroll through endless comparisons in between. But we weren’t designed for this.
For most of human history, mothers were never alone like this. They were surrounded — by sisters, aunties, neighbours, grandmothers — people who held the baby and held the mother.
Today?
You might be breastfeeding in the dark, managing your mental load in silence, and feeling completely unseen.
That’s not a reflection of your capability. It’s a reflection of the systems that were supposed to support you, but no longer exist.
It’s Not That You’re Not Coping — It’s That You’re Carrying Too Much
Let’s name what you’re really holding:
- Interrupted sleep that leaves your brain foggy for days
- Decision fatigue over every little choice (dummy or no dummy? formula top-up or not?)
- The invisible weight of being “the default parent”
- Hormonal shifts, body recovery, identity change — all happening at once
- The pressure to get it all right, while feeling like no one sees you falling apart
If you feel like you’re struggling, it’s not a sign that you’re failing.
It’s a sign that you’re under-resourced, overwhelmed, and still showing up anyway.
You Don’t Need to Be Perfect — You Need to Be Held
What would change if you believed that you’re already doing a good job?
What would soften if you allowed yourself to be supported — emotionally, practically, mentally?
Because you deserve care too. Not just when everything else is done.
Not just once your baby is sleeping better.
But now — in the middle of it all.
How to Start Reframing the Struggle
Motherhood is a transformation
You don’t have to go it
alone
Receive curated resources and tender encouragement for your journey—body, baby, and beyond.
Here are three gentle reminders to carry with you this week:
- Hard doesn’t mean wrong.
Just because something is difficult doesn’t mean you’ve failed at it. It just means it’s stretching you. Growth often feels like resistance. - What you feel is valid — even if no one else sees it.
You don’t need permission to say it’s hard. You don’t need proof to rest. - You are enough, even when you’re not doing everything.
The baby doesn’t need a perfect mother. They need you, in all your humanness.
Let This Be the Reminder You Needed Today
You are not alone in this. The fact that you care enough to be wondering if you’re doing it right means you already are.
And if no one’s told you lately:
You’re doing a good job. This is just hard. And you’re allowed to say so.
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You’re not meant to carry this alone.
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